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May 21 2018

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spookyghostiesandthings:

derpomatic:

glumshoe:

semoka:

glumshoe:

It’d really suck if I got ice or water-themed superpowers. I’d have to wear blue and white and gray instead of the reds and oranges I prefer.

wear the reds and oranges and pull an iceland/greenland on em

“I have cornered you in this aquarium, where your fire powers are useless!”

“Fire powers? Dude, I’m an ice hero. I freeze shit and manipulate water. Also, I love aquariums. Thanks for the free entry!”

“But… you’re dressed like Guy Fieri…?”

“Yeah haha. I have an autumnal complexion.”

Also, no superhero should have a name that gives away the power set.

Misdirection - “Get him, Lasereye!”
“Haha, my mirror will deflect your, wait, why are you made of stone now?”

They call him laser eye because he once blinded himself with a laser pointer and it was the funniest shit they’d ever seen

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pizzaback:

slab-o-meat:

slab-o-meat:

crabs are so gentle, they can be so kind. their claws? precise little things, so careful in the sand, so careful with food. they do what they must to live and wave their claws to express their joy to the world for giving so much to them, for giving such kindness to these creatures known as crabs. please be gentle to crabs

i was on. a new sleep medication last night

but you were right

polysymphonic:

plsdonttakemyadvice:

Man human imprinting is crazy. My friend’s roomba zoomed by me and I got this intense urge to reach down and pat it. Like it’s just a machine? But it’s a good boy? It spends all day cleaning and sleeping and exploring the house and never complains and it’s just so good little robot? Pet robot?? Pet the robot????? Why am I like this???

When I bought my roomba the lady at the store told me that if it breaks within warranty and I send it back to the manufacturer, I can request that they fix and send back the same roomba instead of just sending back a new one. I gave her a confused look and she explained that people get attached to Their Roomba and don’t want them to just be replaced because they’re like part of the family. Humans are pretty great.

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schmergo:

My favorite part of Spider-Man Homecoming was the bit where Peter briefly impersonates Thor. He’s a British dude perfectly impersonating an American kid poorly impersonating a somewhat inconsistent British accent done by an Australian dude

eemaanuelee:

I’m very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very tired.

dreamgrl1998:

my common sense watching my idiot brain overthink everything

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villainny:

tsundereslasher:

Recruiting 101 by Clint Barton 

i love this

May 20 2018

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In case anyone was wondering, my hair was FANTASTIC a couple of days ago.

Fortunately we went and climbed a fortress later in the day and mussed it all up appropriately—it died a worthy death atop a smaller Alp.

May 19 2018

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kathudsonart:

Together Forever

My favorite fusion

May 18 2018

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annakemdrick:

#god i wish that were me

shiorikutsunas:

avengers: how are we going to beat thanos,, he’s unstoppable

peter parker, a millennial who watches john mulaney’s “kid gorgeous” at least twice a day: have you ever heard of street smarts

vampirestakecareofourown:

alphacrone:

why ghost hunting and not ghost observing? ghost anthropology? let me live amongst the ghosts like jane goodall and the chimpanzees

that’s commonly called witchcraft, susan

How to get ready in the morning

sweetiepie08:

Step 1: Stay in bed as long as you possibly can. 

Step 2: Speed run. 

the-problematic-blender:

avengersincamphalfbloodstardis:

someone: stop quoting John Mulaney all the time

me:

The picture wont load but i know its just him screaming no

werewolfmali:

me at 15: why do my parents watch fuckin hgtv all day?

me at 25: damn the granite countertops really do make that kitchen pop

dacelio:

have u ever been in a mood to destroy your relationship with everyone you know

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